


Hartley Can't Catch A Break & Barry Gets A Girlfriend

by GachMoBrea



Series: Fostering Strength [12]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: "Crazy For You", (LONG Tag Alert!), AU, Alternate Universe - Foster Family, Episode Related, Gen, Hartley's Attempted Escape Fails (Again!), Hello Linda!, Len and Caitlin are friends., Len has a Gun, Len is Smart too, Len is going to be Hartley's thereapist whether he wants him to or not., Lisa gets a little screen time!, Mockery of Names, S01E12, Some of this might not make sense..., Vague-Ness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 04:23:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8734747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GachMoBrea/pseuds/GachMoBrea
Summary: A few twists to Season 1 Episode 12, "Crazy For You"Hartley tries an escape again. (The writer doesn't understand science.) And Barry meets a girl at a karaoke bar.--- - --- - --- - ---I know the Tile is stupid/weird/lacking proper imagination, but I'm just too tired to care.





	

"Who comes up with a name like 'Hartley' anyway?" Len drawls as he looks over his cards. "You can join the ranks of people spurned by their parents through naming, if you want. Our admission fee is pretty low."  
Hartley glares at the other man, arms and legs crossed, with an unused deck of cards resting in front of him.  
"Is this your version of rehabilitation therapy?" Hartley remarks. "Card games?"  
"Well, it isn't much of a game since you're not participating," Len remarks, putting another card to his Solitaire pile. "If I can win this hand, that makes me beat you ten to zero. Not much of a victory without an opponent though. I thought someone with your ego would at least try."  
"Card games are child's play," the genius says in disgust.  
"Says the man who refuses to play," Len smirks. He looks over to the prisoner. "I wonder if what you're really saying is that you're a terrible card player afraid to lose."  
Hartley rolls his eyes with an indignant huff. Len resumes his card game for a few more minutes before the other man interrupts him with a sneering, "I've been thinking about your name, Len. Taking from your most recent comment, it's most likely an abbreviation for Leonard. A common English language masculine name from the Old High German 'Leonhard' containing the prefix 'levon' ('lion') and the suffix 'hardu' ('brave' or 'hardy')."  
"Wonderfully boring lesson," Len remarks dryly as he places the last card in his hand. He looks up to his prisoner. "It's much better than being named with the English meaning, 'from the stag's meadow', 'Stag wood' or 'meadow' from Old English."  
"I do have a point, 'lion-heart'," Hartley uncrosses his arms. "I want you to know that even though your name might mean something powerful, you have no power in this world. You're not a Metahuman like The Flash, nor are you a genius in any respect like Dr. Wells."  
"You must be taking things rather poorly then," Len pretends to be concerned for the other man as his prisoner's brow furrows in confusion. "Because I'm the one who took you down and stopped you. You really must not be the genius the Geek Squad claims you to be."  
Hartley throws the cards away and moves to stand at the back of his cell.

Len cleans up his deck of cards, closes the secondary door, and walks out of the room.

Caitlin is waiting for him outside the room.  
"I've been thinking," the female scientist says nervously. "I don't think chasing after Ronnie is a good idea. He asked me to stop looking for him and he's not really in a stable condition at the moment..." She looks down at her shoes as Len patiently waits for her to finish. "Perhaps it would be better for me to just let him go."  
"He's your fiancé, Caitlin," Len says softly. "If you don't want to find him, then fine."  
"I'm just not-" Caitlin sighs as she lifts her head to stare at something over the man's shoulder. "I'm not ready to handle seeing him right now."  
Len puts a hand on the woman's shoulder.  
"Take your time, Caitlin," Len keeps his voice soft. "If you want to let things go, then I'll make sure Hartley keeps his comments to himself. If, however, you decide to chase after Ronnie again, I'll make sure he spills his guts."  
Caitlin laughs as she wipes at her eyes and nods her head.  
"Thanks, Len," the scientist says as she looks the man in the eyes. "It means a lot to me to hear you say that. I think I'll let things be for the moment. I need to move on if I want any semblance of normal."  
"I'm afraid you're on your own if you want normal," Len jokes. "I've got a bit too much abnormal to know what the word means anymore."  
Caitlin laughs. Smiling, she points behind herself, "I better go. Barry's brining in something for us to analyze from the prison where that escape happened."  
"Send him my brotherly affections, will you?" Len drawls as the woman walks away.  
Caitlin nods, then offers the man a small wave before turning around and walking down the hallway to the main room of STAR Labs.

Len's phone chirps with a new text and he opens it.  
'You taking the day?' [Joe]  
He texts back, 'Working with Hartley today. I'll help out the next case. How's B?'  
'Got a guard to bring his Dad around, so he's floating on clouds.' [Joe]  
'Make sure he doesn't float into reckless danger.' Len returns.  
'Remind me who's the father in this relationship?' [Joe]  
The trainee smirks, his fingers going through a few replies before deleting them all. His phone chirps again.  
'Be careful with Hartley, Len. I don't trust that evil twerp.' [Joe]  
'Really showing your age with the word 'twerp' Joe.' [Len]  
'Wise alec.' [Joe]

Len chuckles as he reads the last message. He hears footsteps approaching and he looks up to see Cisco coming towards him.

"You mind telling me what you and Caitlin are doing about Ronnie that I'm not allowed to know about?" the young genius asks angrily.  
"What Caitlin and I do about her fiancé isn't your concern," Len returns evenly.  
"Ronnie is my friend too!" Cisco bites out. "If you two are tracking him down, I want to be a part of it!"  
"We're not tracking him down because Caitlin doesn't want to know where he is or what he's doing," Len remarks.  
"What? How can she not want to know about the man she loves?"  
"It might have to do with the fact the man is now constantly on fire."  
"Stop acting too cool for the situation and tell me what you've been doing with Hartley and Caitlin."  
"Oh, so now you want to know about Hartley too?" Len crosses his arms over his chest. "Is there anything else you want to know, master?"  
"Fine. Don't tell me," Cisco grumbles, moving around the other man to head to the cells. "I'll find out from him myself."  
"Hartley knows what happened to Ronnie and supposedly where to find him," Len says, stopping the other man in his tracks. He turns to look at the genius. "Now, I'd still like to know what the little ego monster knows, but it's not like I'm going to let him out of that cell, so what do you have in mind?"  
"If we have to, we can let him out," Cisco states.  
"And give him the perfect chance to escape?" Len huffs. "What a great plan, Sicko."  
"It's. Cisco." the genius says with clenched teeth. "And I made modifications to his hearing aids, so he won't be able to get very far if he tried."  
"What kind of modifications?"  
Cisco smirks triumphantly at the other man, "That's for me to know. What I need to know is if you're in or not."  
"Hartley is my prisoner," Len says. "You guys are just keeping him here for me."  
"Then let's go talk to him."

Hartley refuses to talk in the cell. He pointedly stares at Len as he claims that he needs to be outside in order to 'show them' what happened to Ronnie.

With handcuffs on, Hartley shows the two men the bomb shadow. Len hears a noise and steps away to make sure they were alone. Hartley finishes his explanation and Cisco realizes what happened to his friend right before the other man turns on him and tries to beat the genius to a pulp.  
Len rushes back to them in time to watch Cisco activate his 'modifications' and send Hartley to his knees in pain.  
Cisco mocks and explains what he's doing to the other man, finishing his threat with, "If you double cross us, I will turn them on and never turn them off, ever," before deactivating the hearing aids.

As Hartley recovers, Len remarks to Cisco, "Interesting dark side you have there, Sicko."  
The tone is cold and it sends shivers down the genius's spine as he turns to him.  
"You have no idea what sort of person Hartley is," Cisco says lowly, keeping one eye on the man still holding tightly to the railing.  
"I don't need to," Len counters. "It's you who my sister is invested in."  
"You're dating his sister?" Hartley laughs. "I'd like to see him with you on a date."  
Cisco moves to activate the hearing aids again, but Len stops him with a hand on his arm and a shake of his head.  
"Let's go, Hartley," Len orders as he pulls the man to his feet. "Where do we go next?"  
"You're going to have to take these off," Hartley lifts his cuffs and wiggles his fingers.  
"Why?"  
"Because it would be a little conspicuous for where we're going."  
"And that is?"  
"The CCPD."

\--- - ---

Caitlin steps away from Barry after checking the speedster's bullet wound.  
Barry jokes, "I'm a lot faster than a speeding bullet."  
"Barry!" Lisa announces herself with her step brother's name as she enters the room. "Lenny sent me in his stead to take over over-protective duties!"  
Lisa comes to a sudden stop when she sees the wound, her eyes big as she blinks at her brother's neck.  
"Crap! No! Barry!" Lisa rushes to the hero's side to pull him into a hug before he can put on his coat. "Lenny is going to kill me when he finds out I failed to stop you from being hurt! What happened?"  
"I'm fine, Lisa," Barry hugs the woman and pulls her away afterwards. He quickly puts his coat on before adding. "Peekaboo's boyfriend shot at me, but I stopped it."  
"Peekaboo?" Lisa repeats skeptically.  
"A Meta who can teleport," Caitlin explains. "I came up with the name."  
"Clever," the other woman compliments with a smile, before returning to her brother with a pout. "Bar~ry! Does this mean you want to go home and rest?"  
"Not at all," the speedster smiles. "Did you have something you wanted to do?"  
"Well," the smile returns to Lisa's face. "I thought that you might want to go out tonight. I don't have any specific ideas, but we've been so busy I thought we could try and spend some time together."  
"You can come too," Lisa adds, turning to Caitlin. "I don't want you to feel left out or anything."  
"That's sweet of you to offer, but it's okay," the scientist shakes her head.  
"No, Lisa's right," Barry smiles at his teammate. "We have lives, let's go live them. We can even mix hero work in it."  
"Hero work?" his foster sister's interest piques. "How so?"  
"We can go to places that Shawna -she's our Meta- Places that she and her boyfriend frequented. Maybe they'll show up there?"  
"Ooh, exciting!" Lisa claps her hands, then hooks her arms with Caitlin and Barry. "Let's go!"

\- 

Lisa and Caitlin rush to their houses to change while Barry looks up the addresses where the criminal couple went to the most. He texts the top of the list to the ladies, then head there first and orders a drink.

 

Both ladies arrive at the same time, arm-in-arm and looking gorgeous.  
Barry says as much, getting a kiss on the cheek from Lisa and a blush from Caitlin.

 

Caitlin takes it upon herself to open a tab, then get horrendously drunk.  
"It's such a pity I'm still under age," Lisa pouts as the other woman downs another round. "What does it taste like, Caitlin?"  
The scientist shrugs, "I can't really taste them anymore."  
"That's a sign that you should stop," Barry remarks, taking her empty cup away.  
"Oh, fine!" Caitlin huffs, then sways her head towards the stage.  
To his horror, Barry watches his friend climb to the stage, then call him out to sing with her.  
The speedster opens his mouth to protest, but Lisa jumps up and pulls him out of his chair then pushes him towards the stage with an encouraging, "Go Barry!"

Barry sings with Caitlin, then quickly makes his way to the bar to close out their tab while Lisa helps the woman head to the door.

At the bar, Barry meets a woman named Linda, who gives him her information with a touch of her phone.  
The speedster walks outside with a smile on his face, but it quickly turns to a sympathetic grimace as he watches Caitlin bend over to puke out her guts in the grass; Lisa rubs the other woman's back.

-

The foster siblings take the scientist home and Lisa helps her to get into pajamas while Barry waits in the kitchen.  
"We're decent," Lisa softly calls from the bedroom, and Barry walks in to see his friend tucked in comfortably under the covers and his sister sitting at the edge of the bed by her side.  
"Can you two stay until I fall asleep?" Caitlin asks as she clutches tightly to her pillow.  
Lisa turns to Barry who smiles and sits on the other side of the woman and reaches over to put a hand on her knee.  
"Of course," he says.

-

After Caitlin has slept for several minutes, Barry and Lisa sneak out of the apartment, making sure to lock the door on their way out.

"This was fun," Lisa remarks as they walk towards her car. "If that's the type of stake-outs Len, Joe, and Eddie have, I really should change careers."  
"What?" Barry laughs. "I thought you liked being around all that money."  
"I do," his foster sighs sighs. "But I can't have any of it, so it gets boring."  
"Well, you can't come work at the CCPD."  
"And why not?" Lisa says, sounding offended.  
"Can you imagine how Len would be if you decided to be a police officer?" her brother says with a pointed look.  
Lisa chuckles, "Yeah...He'd be terrible. Probably get suspended over and over again for shouting at the training officers for shouting at me." She giggles with a new thought, her hand moving to cover her mouth.  
"What?" Barry smiles, lost at the joke.  
"I'm just imagining the look on his face when I tell him about your new girlfriend."  
"New girlfriend?" her brother repeats, voice slightly higher than normal.  
"Oh, yeah," Lisa nods her head slowly. "I saw the look in her eyes when she approached you at the bar. Granted, I didn't get to see the whole thing, so you better tell me everything on our way home."  
"Lisa," Barry tries to think of a convincing lie, but his sister glares at him and he sighs in defeat. "Her name's Linda..."

\--- - ---

At the CCPD, Hartley has Cisco pull up the surveillance footage from where the bomb shadow was located. Hartley prompts Cisco to discover that dark matter merged Ronnie and Stein together.  
"So, that's it?" Len clarifies as he looks at the image. "Ronnie is gone in this Stein guy? But why did Caitlin and I see Ronnie's face?"  
Len looks to Hartley for an answer. The man is pulling his hearing aid out and Len reaches for him but is too late; the genius snaps the aid and a piercing, ringing noise fills the air. Len stumbles backwards covering his ears, and hits his back against a supporting pillar. Cisco shouts out from the pain and falls to ground, curling into a ball as he too tries to block out the noise with his hands.  
Hartley punches Len in the gut, bending the man in half.  
"I told you, lion-heart," the evil genius punches the man in the stomach again. "You have no power."  
Hartley steps away from the training detective to kick Cisco. The injured genius rolls to his other side while Hartley pulls out the remote from his victim's pocket.  
Len jumps the evil genius, grabbing the man around his middle and knocking the device out of his hands.  
"No one gets to beat Cisco but me," Len shouts out over the ringing in his head as he holds onto the man squirming to get free from his hold.  
Hartley pushes backwards, slamming Len into the supportive pillar. Len's head smacks harshly against the concrete and his vision swims as he tries to keep a solid hold on the other man.  
Cisco crawls over to the remote slowly. His head feels like it's going to explode with the noise, but he knows if he can just turn the device off, he'll have relief.  
Hartley sees the other genius moving for the remote and he quickly takes a few steps forwards in order to step back just as quickly and slam Len against the pillar for a second time.  
Len grunts as his back hits the pillar again, but he manages to tuck his head forwards to protect it. The repeat abuse loosens his grip on his opponent, though, and Hartley uses the moment of weakness to twist free.  
Cisco grabs his remote and deactivates the hearing aid, then slumps against the ground in relief as the ringing stops immediately.  
Hartley scowls down at the other genius, foot pulling back to kick at him again, but a gun clicks and he freezes.  
"I said," Len drawls, gun drawn and pointed at Hartley. "I'm the only one who gets to beat on Cisco."  
Hartley turns to look at the weapon, then follows the holder's arm to the man's face.  
"You can't shoot an unarmed man."  
"Sure I can," Len smirks. "Just try and walk out that door so I can prove it to you."  
The evil genius looks at the gun again, then back at Cisco, then straight ahead at nothing.  
"Thought so," Len remarks as he pulls out the cuffs from his coat pocket. He tosses them to Hartley. "Put them on. We're going back to your hotel room."  
Hartley puts on the cuffs as he continues to glare into space.  
Len looks down at Cisco, "You gonna nap there all night? Because I'm not bringing you a blanket."  
"Why did they give you, of all people, a gun?" Cisco grumbles as he gets to his feet.  
"Anyone over the age of eighteen can own a gun, Sicko," Len smirks. "But it helps to have a job at the police station to get the wheels moving."

Len keeps a hand on Hartley's shoulder as he guides the man out the back to his car. He stuffs the genius into the trunk, much to the man's angry protest.  
"Would you really have shot him?" Cisco asks as he heads to the passenger's side door.  
Len levels cold blue eyes at the genius, "What do you think?"  
The genius gets that unpleasant shiver again and quickly gets into the car before the other man can leave him behind.

\--- - ---

Barry wakes to an unpleasant smell and he runs to the kitchen at regular speed to see what was the matter.  
Len looks up as the speedster enters the kitchen and he offers him a cup of coffee.  
"Morning, Barry," Len drawls as his foster brother takes the mug. "Did you sleep well? How's the neck?"  
"What did Lisa tell you?" Barry asks instead of answering.  
"Hey," Lisa yawns as she joins the two men in the kitchen. "Don't blame me for things first thing in the morning."  
"It's justifiable if you're sending texts to Len about everything," Barry counters.  
"I just told him that you were shot before I got there, so it couldn't be my fault," Lisa takes the speedster's cup of coffee and takes a sip before handing it back. "Then I told him about our date night, but I kept things vague."  
"Yes," Len speaks up as Barry opens his mouth to comment. "You and Caitlin going out on a date...Very interesting development. Does that mean you're a thing now?"  
"What?" Barry puts his cup down and Lisa pick it back up for another sip. "No! We're not-We're just friends!"  
"He met a girl named Linda," Lisa adds from behind the mug to hide her grin.  
"Linda?" Len repeats with interest. "Linda who?"  
"NO." Barry turns on his foster sister. "Lisa, no." He turns to his foster brother, "Len. No." He raises his hands. "Just...No, alright?"  
The Snart siblings look to each other and say at the same time, "He likes her."  
"I do not-I only met her once!" Barry fumes, cheeks red. "I haven't had the time to know if I like her or not, okay? I'd like to at least have a proper conversation with her before Len the over-protector is sicked on her."  
"Et tu, Barry?" Len remarks, turning to a pot he had boiling on the stove top.  
Lisa scrunches her nose in disgust, "What IS that you're making? It woke me from a fabulous dream."  
"It's a hangover cure," her brother answers, lifting up a wooden spoon and taking a sniff. "Needs more honey.'  
As Len gets the ingredient he needs, Barry goes for a new cup of coffee.

 

Len drops Lisa off at the bank, Barry riding in the back just to spend more time with his foster siblings, and to secretly make sure Lisa didn't tell Len anything more about Linda.

 

The brothers walk into STAR Labs moments before an over-dressed Caitlin does.

"Here," Len hands the woman a travel cup. "This will help."  
"By the way it smells, it better not kill her," Barry warns the other man.  
Caitlin takes a sip, then grimaces.  
"What is this?"  
"My sure fire cure for hangovers," Len answers seriously. "The more you drink, the faster it works. One sip really won't do much for...you..."  
Len watches, surprised, as the scientist down it all in a few gulps.  
Caitlin hands the travel mug over with a small burb and a deep frown.  
"Excuse me," she whispers, walking away to in the direction of the Cortex.

Barry's smile fades when his phone rings and he answers it.  
"What is it, Barry?" Len asks, worried about his brother as he slowly lowers his phone.  
"My father's been stabbed," Barry says turning to head for the door. "I've got to get Joe to take me to him!"  
Barry speed runs from STAR Labs, leaving Len to clench his fists in silent anger.

\- -

As The Flash takes care of Julius, Markus Stockheimer, and Peekaboo...Len goes to visit Hartley again.

"Here to gloat?" the evil genius sneers from his spot on the floor.  
"No," Len says, pulling out a deck of cards as he gets comfortable on the floor. "I was wondering if you'd like to try another round?"  
"Enough with the cards!" Hartley roars, charging at the glass door to slam his fists against it. "I'm through with your mock pity and pretend desire to understand! GO. AWAY."  
"I could do that," Len tilts his head to the side as he shuffles the cards. "But I'm not going to."  
With an angry grunt, Hartley pushes away from the glass to start pacing the small space.  
Len deals out the cards to play blackjack with himself, then he lifts his eyes to look at the prisoner.  
"You want to start today's session with your childhood? It might help."  
Hartley glares down at him, so Len shrugs and deals his first hand.  
He draws an ace and a queen.  
"Perfect hand," Len smirks. "What about you, Hartley?"  
He draws another set, a ten and an eight.  
"Too bad," Len tisks. He looks up again, "You want to try for a three?"

Hartley remains silent as Len plays out several hands where he beats the evil genius twenty times over his measly ten.

"Still not much of a victory," Len muses aloud as he gathers up the cards. He turns his head towards the prisoner. "I think I got it now. You're determined. Stuck in a rut. If I'm going to make any progress with you, I'll have to adapt a little."  
Hartley scoffs in disbelief as the other man rises to his feet.  
"I'll bring chess tomorrow," Len states. "You'd be surprised how good I am at it. Unless you act like the big whiny baby you are and refuse to play that too."  
Len closes the secondary door and strides out of the room, leaving Hartley to steam in his cell.

\--- - ---

After Iris meets 'Linda' at Central City Picture News, she decides to 'spread the love' and get Len off of her and Eddie's back for a little while by inviting her foster brothers to a coffee break at Jitters.

"Hey, Iris," Len greets his sister with a hug before sitting. Barry was late, as usual. "What is this impromptu meeting all about?"  
"I met Barry's new girlfriend today," Iris has to fight valiantly against the smile that wants to take up her face.  
"You did?" Len grins at her, leaning in with interest. "I'm all ears."  
Barry rushes into Jitters at that moment, but it doesn't stop Iris from telling her other foster brother, "Her name's Linda Park. She convers sports for Central City Picture News."  
Len turns to the speedster as he comes to the table, "You're new girlfriend works with our sister?"  
Barry shoots a glare to Iris who pretends to be innocent as she gets up to order their drinks.  
"She's not my girlfriend," Barry corrects as he turns his glare away from his scheming foster sister. "We went out on one date."  
"How did it go?"  
"I'm not telling you."  
"Why not?"  
"Because I'm worried what you're going to do!"  
"I already know her name, so you know what happens next."  
"You get super nosey and make people feel uncomfortable to be around you," Barry states as he slouches in his chair. He runs his hands through his hair with a tired groan. "Please, Len, just leave Linda alone until I figure out if there's an actual possibility for a relationship with her."  
"Barry!" Linda raises a hand and the two brothers turn to the woman as she walks over to the table. "Fancy meeting you here. Who's your friend?"  
Barry groans again as Len gets up from his chair and takes the woman's hand with a smile.  
"I'm Len," he says. "The pain-in-more-ways-than-one older brother to Barry. You must be Linda."  
"That I am," Linda nods. "Has Barry been telling you about me? Am I interrupting a brother thing?"  
"Not at all!" Len shakes his head as Barry's pops up to say something.  
The speedster turns in his seat to look for Iris and sighs deeply inside when there's no sign of her.  
"Barry," Len puts his hand on the younger man's shoulder. "Why don't you get the three of us something to drink? I'll stay here with Linda to keep her company."  
Barry turns sad eyes to the reporter, "I apologize in advance."  
As the hero trudges over to the counter to order drinks, his confused possible-girlfriend turns to his foster brother and asks.  
"What's he talking about?"  
Len laughs, "Barry's got a strange sense of humor some times. You'll get used to it. Now, why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself, Linda?"

 

\---

**Author's Note:**

> If you've watched the episode, you'll notice many key scenes missing from this. I tried to skim it down and focus on parts that might have played out differently if the West-Allen-Snart dynamics were different...  
> That being said, Henry Allen's wonderful contribution to the episode was chopped from this one-shot. (For no reason good enough to say.)
> 
> \--- - ---
> 
> [I own nothing.....]


End file.
